A good friend of mine said something to me at dinner this week that really hit me: “Aim Up, Compare Down.”

So many of us drive ourselves crazy by comparing “up.” Rather than enjoying our own circumstances, we lust for the things and traits possessed by others. We crush our own spirit by comparing ourselves to those that are smarter, younger, better looking, more successful, taller, wealthier, better athletes, etc. Unfortunately, this is just a recipe for feeling like shit.

In always comparing up, we lose perspective of where we stand. Instead of appreciating what we are, we obsess about what we’re not. We fail to savor our accomplishments and natural gifts, always grasping for something more in a never-ending futile effort that depletes our confidence and sense of self.

Comparing down, in contrast, helps you realize and enjoy where you are in the moment. It helps you recognize that while there’s always room to grow on your path, you’ve already accomplished the things that only exist in the dreams of others. Sure, there’s always someone with a bigger boat, but never lose sight of those with much less.

I’m sure there are many different ways to interpret the idea of comparing down. To me, it’s not about comparing yourself to other people or being boastful. It’s about comparing “down” to a previous version of you. It’s about recognizing how far you’ve come and realizing that things could always be a lot worse.

Now comparing down isn’t an excuse to stop pushing ahead and striving. That’s where “aiming up” comes in. As far as I can tell, the purpose of life is to realize your full potential and make your biggest possible impact on the world. You won’t get there by aiming (or dreaming) small. Aiming at a target in front of you will propel you to play your best possible game. It will allow you seize the enormous opportunity that’s waiting for you.

So many of us have the formula backwards, don’t we? We aim down because we’re afraid of putting ourselves out there and failing. By playing it “safe”, we end up filled with regret for all the shots we never took. And to top it off, we compare “up.” Envy overwhelms us, starving our own sense of well-being and fulfillment. And with every step forward, we immediately seek something new and shiny to covet instead of appreciating our accomplishments in the moment.

It’s time to turn conventional thinking upside down. It’s time to embrace a fresh perspective that will push you to new heights while embracing the joy you’ve earned at each step along your path.

Forget the traditional approach. Aim Up, Compare Down.

In an era of intense pressure to succeed, we’re often faced with the dilemma to do well OR do good. Our ambitions for money, security, and recognition can drive us to make choices that enrich ourselves while hurting others. The news provides us an endless parade of Bernie Madoffs holding their heads in shame for prioritizing greed above all else.

While you’re probably not a crook, you likely face similar dilemmas on a subtler, yet consistent basis. Should you overbill your client just a tad to boost revenue? Should you make your co-worker look bad to make yourself look good? Should you deliver products or services that are profitable yet overall damaging to society?

Recently, I’ve been bothered by the lyrics of popular rap songs that my kids blast from the car radio. Jay-Z and Kanye West rap about luring young girls into bathroom stalls to “prove why they deserve to have it all.” And the popular rapper Tyga talks with incessant repetitiveness about throwing hundred dollars bills (“hunnits”) on naked strippers.

Now I’m no prude and I’m all for artistic expression. But peddling obnoxious trash to audiences in order to sell more records can’t be making the world a better place. Sure, these “artists” are scoring a bunch of cash. But at what cost?

A simple test you can use when facing a decision is to imagine that your actions will be covered in great detail on the front page of The New York Times the next morning. A big, tell-all feature explaining the choice you made for the whole world to see. Would you be proud of your actions or ashamed by them? Excited to share the story with your friends and family or overwhelmed by humiliation?

You could go one step further and ask yourself if someday your grandkids heard the story, how would you feel? Think Tyga and Kanye would be excited to share their primal lyrics with their 8-year-old granddaughters?

Take a good look in the mirror and examine your career, relationships, parenting style, leadership approach, and level of overall contribution. If that NY Times story was coming out tomorrow, which areas of your life would you wish you could have changed?

Some changes may need to be drastic, while others could be a slight pivot allowing you to contribute value rather than destroy it. Since it’s unlikely the Times will be publishing their story tomorrow, you have the gift of opportunity to make those changes now. So when that story is actually on display, you can beam with pride and know you’ve left a positive mark.

With a little creativity, it’s possible to do well AND do good. Challenge yourself to do the right thing instead of the easy thing, and the rewards will end up being tenfold.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll even enjoy the movie version.

Recently I had the privilege of delivering my third commencement speech. I love graduation ceremonies and what they symbolize: achievement, overcoming adversity, reaching the next level.

Addressing thousands of graduates is a daunting task. With only a few minutes to impart some lasting wisdom, what message would you deliver? I decided to share the 11 principles that have guided me since I wore that graduation robe many moons ago.

In preparing my remarks, I realized that these nuggets didn’t just apply to freshly minted grads; they apply to us all. These are the principles I live by and the philosophies that have enabled my own success. Here’s my advice for graduates, dropouts, young guns, and seniors alike:

1. Put Passion First – People will constantly tell you what you “should” do. Instead of doing what others expect, follow your dreams and your heart. You’ll be much happier, and you’ll make the world a better place too.

2. Build Your Creativity Muscle – This will be your most important skill, and it will allow you to thrive and win. Develop your creativity early and often – it will pay off big-time.

3. Don’t Stumble Over Something Behind You – Regret is the worst human emotion, since you can’t do a thing about the past. You’ll make lots of mistakes, which are nothing more than the portals of discovery. Fail fast, learn, and move on.

4. Leave it Better than You Found it – Every interaction, meeting, project, game, and relationship leaves you with a choice. You can add value or remove it. Do the right thing instead of the easy thing. You’ll be glad you did.

5. Reject Limits – Break free from limits that others try to impose on you. Your ideas, creativity and potential are nearly limitless. Reach for the edges.

6. “Do or Do Not, There is No Try” – This is a quote from Star Wars’ Yoda. Simply put, commit to your dreams and do whatever it takes to reach them.

7. Playing it Safe is Irresponsibly Dangerous - The history books never talk about people that lived small. Those that take risks, shatter complacency, and create their own future are the ones that make the biggest difference. Make your own mark, and never let fear hold you back from your true potential.

8. Embrace Change – The world will continue to change at breathtaking speeds. Those that get locked into one way of thinking get passed by. Standing still is the beginning of the end, so always stay ahead of the curve.

9. Be Appreciative and Humble – Einstein once wrote, “You can live each day as if everything is a miracle, or as if nothing is.” True ‘dat!

10. Be a Lifelong Learner – Continuously sharpen your mind and devour knowledge. Learning constantly will enable success in every area of your life.

11. Have fun! – Life is meant to be savored. Enjoy every sip, sound, and bite.
We all face many challenges, which is why a few guiding principles can serve as a helpful North Star. Play you biggest game and seize the enormous opportunity that’s waiting for you.

No tassel or funny hat required.

There are few products less sexy that a thermostat. It is a boring, utilitarian commodity, right? The world agreed for over 100 years…until the lead designer of the iPod decided to shake things up.

Tony Fadell took a completely fresh approach and challenged conventional wisdom. Rather than starting with the existing competitive set, he shattered industry norms from design to function. The result? The incredible new device known as the Nest Learning Thermostat.

Besides its distinctive look, this baby ain’t your father’s thermostat. The artificial intelligence “learns” your habits. It has sensors to know when you are away so it doesn’t heat or cool an empty house. It’s connected to the web and evaluates external weather conditions to determine how to best respond inside. You can even control it from a smartphone app on the go.

All this whiz-bang technology does more than fuel your inner geek. The Nest saves its owners an average of 20% off their utility bills and helps reduce our reliance on foreign oil. All the while, it saves the environment by reducing emissions. Cool, huh?

It gets better. From a business perspective, the Nest sells for $250 each, and is completely sold-out. Compare that to the widely available and incredibly boring Honeywell programmable thermostat that sells for $22. That’s right… the sold-out Nest sells for ten times the price of the find-anywhere industry standard.

Once again, innovation carries the day. Even in a commodity business that appeared to offer no room for breakthrough thinking, creative fire has charred competitors into dust overnight.

As author Gary Hamel famously said, “Somewhere there’s an entrepreneur forging a bullet with your company’s name on it. Your only option is to shoot first. You must out-innovate the innovators.” Even if you are enjoying success, the disruptive forces of change can deliver a knockout blow at a moment’s notice. To win today, you need to embody creativity and innovation. There’s just no room for complacency.

Take a good look in the mirror and examine your own business. Are your products and services me-too commodities, or are they truly differentiated? Is there an opportunity to inject new thinking in either form or function to set the new standard?

Imagine there’s a Nest equivalent in your own industry – some upstart that’s just about to shatter the mold and reinvent the business. Now imagine that you are that disruptor. What would you do differently? How would you take on the sleeping giants? How could you apply creativity to your product, process, or communication to rock the very foundation of your field?

In today’s competitive environment, staying the course is the kiss of death. Nest disrupted thermostats; what will you choose to do in your industry? It’s time to sprint toward the future instead of clinging to the past. It’s time to imagine what’s possible, instead of just what is. It’s time to turn up the heat.

Oh wait… my Nest just did that for me.