Be the Change You Want
How many times have you complained about your boss? Bemoaned the circumstances that are holding you back? Attributed your setbacks to others or external forces?
The problem with finger-pointing is that it’s completely unproductive. We all have a finite amount of time, energy, and resources at our disposal. Every ounce that you deploy blaming others takes away from your ability to create positive change.
In my hometown of Detroit, many people get caught up in the blame-game. They channel anger about their circumstances at the mayor, city council, business leaders, the governor, unions, and each other. At the very suggestion of self-determination, some people clam up and tell you about all the outside forces holding them back.
Hogwash! It’s easy to sit back in victim-land and find all the reasons things can’t be done. But while the weak are busy blaming, the successful get on with the hard work of architecting their own future. We’ve seen time and time again how grit and determination overcome just about any obstacle.
In the words of author Robin Sharma, “You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought.” Our world is challenging and competitive. Drowning yourself in pity, doubt, and fault-finding only leads to grumpy cynicism. Simply put, it’s time to stop blaming and start doing.
I spoke to an attorney recently who told me all the reasons her practice wasn’t growing. Tough economy. Competitive landscape. Changes in regulation. She had an excuse for every setback, taking no personal responsibility whatsoever. Unwilling to double down on her efforts or try a fresh approach, her practice will continue to languish since she’s so busy playing the victim.
Contrast this to those who pull themselves up from their bootstraps. Those whose resilience and determination give them the fire they need to keep fighting when others give up. One common trait I see among the most successful people: they take full personal responsibility for their own outcomes, having the scrappiness to figure out how to get things done no matter what external circumstances they encounter.
If you had a gun pointed at your head and you had to achieve or die, you’d immediately leap into action conquer your objective. Don’t we all really have that gun pointed at us, just in a more subtle fashion?
The bitch-and-moan club already has too big a membership. It’s time to erase the negativity and blame and replace them with a relentless focus on your own success. If each of us just did that, think how incredible the world would be. Mahatma Ghandi had it right when he challenged us all to “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
And c’mon. You can’t argue with Ghandi.

I love your article, “double down on my efforts” like it and will put on my wall of affirmations. I just lost my front tooth, it broke at the gum line. Instead of not smiling I smiled and made people laugh, and I am a girl and I look like a hockey player who got hit with a hockey puck right in the choppers. People are so creative and told me I now have a place for my straw. I am doubling down on my self-confidence when one has no front tooth, no dental insurance and still feels like laughing at life. I think they will reject me in the “bitch and moan club” but I am good with that. Thank you for the article.
I love your blog…so I was curious what new, creative spin you were going to put on “be the change”. But come on, writing the same responsibility rant as about every other blogger puts you squarely in the complainers’ corner…and about as far away from Gandhi’s stand as Lance Armstrong is from John Wooden when it comes to taking responsibility. The only thing that bothers me more is that you actually inspired me to follow you into the same trap and write this response when I could be using my energy to change the world
Great post! Your blog is always entertaining and gives me things to ponder on. However, today’s post was a well-timed kick in the tush that I needed. Thanks!
Amen! Feeling sorry for yourself (longer than 120-seconds) is for Losers. Way to go Cathy Nava, love your positive attitude.
Or as George Washington reputedly said (appropriate the day after President’s Day) – “99% of failures come from people who make excuses”. While seizing responsibility for outcomes and taking action doesn’t ensure success, placing blame and becoming passive almost certainly assures something well short of success except by happy, and unlikely, accident. Since accidental success is hard to replicate, it’s not a long-term strategy.
And Thorsten’s comment reminds me of my favorite John Wooden quote – Things turn out Best for people who make the Best of the way things turn out.