Robert Linkner was one strange dude.  He forged his own path as he journeyed from hippie to psychologist to retailer to financial planner.  He had a hilarious, dark sense of humor, was an incredible chef and had a series of oddball hobbies.  He took pride that his tastes in music, travel, food, and life were always a bit different that the average Joe. His life ended far too early when we lost him to cancer in 2007.

It’s natural to miss your dad on Father’s Day, but this year I began to reflect on the lessons he taught me.  Sometimes mysterious in his ways, I now realize he was quite deliberate as he instilled his philosophies in my sister, brother, and me.

His wisdom has shaped who I am today, and there’s much to learn from his irreverent, non-traditional approach.  Here are six life lessons from my eccentric and non-conformist father:

1. Why not you?  In any situation in life, he taught me, someone has to be the best.  In the classroom, on the sport field, in the boardroom.  He professed that results are not set by fate, but rather by choice.  He made sure I knew that choice was mine.  “It might as well be you”, he insisted.

2. Traditions exist to be broken.  He proudly served strange Mexican dishes on Thanksgiving, and was famous for doing the opposite of what was expected at every opportunity he had.  While it got him in trouble at times, it paved the way for me to live comfortably outside my comfort zone.

3. Explore the oddities.  He could name every mushroom in the woods, was an expert sailor, and enjoyed watching the bizarre sport of Flugtag.  His quirky habits set the stage for seeing the world from uncommon vantage points.

4. Always feed your mind.  An avid reader, he pushed hard on the value of constant learning and growth.  To out-think, you must out-know.

5. Meet your commitments.  He was a no-excuse guy, and taught me that delivering on commitments – big and small – was non-negotiable.  Think how different the world would be if everyone embraced this approach.

6. Independence is paramount.  He wasn’t the most nurturing guy, but I now see that fostering independence was his highest value.  He taught me self-reliance, grit, and persistence at an early age.  I learned that if I wanted something, I had to work to make it happen.

I share these ideals, both as a tribute to my dad but also as gift from him to you.  Embracing these philosophies can serve as an accelerant in the pursuit of your own goals and dreams.

So here’s to my father, Robert Linkner. I hope his powerful lessons will move you in the same way they shaped me.  Timeliness wisdom from a peculiar, but caring man.

Last week I heard from three different people on three separate occasions about how they had a great idea but missed the boat. “I had the idea for Groupon five years ago”, a friend claimed. “I coulda been the one to land that big promotion, but I never shared my ideas with the boss”, another bemoaned.

Regret is the worst human emotion since there isn’t a damn thing we can do about the past. Missed opportunity can haunt us for years and can weigh down our hearts like an anchor of forged steel. “If I had only…” has nothing to do with talent; it is simply the result of a previous lack of courage.

Most people overestimate the risk of following their dreams, yet underestimate the risk of not seizing the opportunity. This applies to business and family. Invention and politics. Life and love.

Many of us are consumed with all the things we shoulda done, coulda done, or woulda done. We make excuses why we never stepped up and took a stand. We cast blame on circumstance and other people while the world simply passes us by.

The next time you have that big idea, follow your passion instead of your fear. Boldness and courage have a special power to crush the demons and liberate your creative potential.

Don’t let imaginary barriers hold you back from seizing the things you want most in your life. And even if you stumble along the way, you’ll do so with strength and purpose. Reminds me of the famous quote from Alfred Lord Tennyson, “Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.”

Don’t relegate yourself to the cold masses of timid souls that long for a better future but cower instead of act. Those people – the shoulda coulda woulda folks – are not you. You are destined to leave an indelible mark on the world, as long as you have the guts to make it happen. You’ll never know what you are truly capable of until you unshackle your passion and give yourself permission to create.

When you look back on it all during your final days, I doubt you’ll wish you took fewer risks. What will matter is that you lived fully, followed your heart, and seized your full potential. When I get to the end, I hope I’ll have more battle scars and fewer regrets.

Have the courage and conviction to go for the things you really want. Stop settling and start doing. Seize the day, and never, never, ever be a shoulda, coulda, woulda.

If you set out to climb Mt. Everest, one of the first things you do is hire a Sherpa.  Originally an ethnic group in Nepal, today a “Sherpa” is the common term used for the leader of a mountain climbing expedition.  In business terms, you are hiring a CEO to help you get to the top.

Thinking of yourself in the role of the Sherpa will help you become a stronger leader.  This is especially true today where leaders must empower their people, not just command them.  As I reflected on the treacherous and risky conditions endured by climbers, it reminded me of our current business landscape and the need for courageous and thoughtful leadership.

Here are five powerful lessons borrowed from those tough-as-nails, yet compassionate, expedition leaders:

1. Your real job is to lead others to the top. Sherpa’s are successful by helping those around them reach their full potential.  The same is 100% true for you as a leader in your own organization.  Ironically, the more you make it about others, the more individual success you’ll enjoy.

2. Detailed planning saves lives. If your Sherpa just looked up the mountain and just said: “Let’s go”, you’d sprint in the opposite direction.  Great leaders carefully plot out each step of their attack to ensure a safe ride.

3. Expect and prepare for setbacks.  Sherpa’s routinely deal with unexpected weather, animals, obscured paths, and many other obstacles.  Rather than becoming derailed, they build contingency plans and adapt in real-time.  Do you?

4. Walk with your team.  The role of a Sherpa isn’t to lead from afar.  Instead, these leaders climb the mountain right alongside their teams.  As a result, trust is built and success is achieved.  You can’t ask your team to jump through fire unless you’re willing to do it too.

5. Become a great listener.  To reach the summit, Sherpa’s must carefully listen on many fronts.  They need to truly understand input from their team, the basecamp crew, and other hikers.  They also need to hear rapidly changing weather reports, advice from other Sherpa’s, as well as the latest advances in their field.  Are you so busy talking that you fail to listen to others?  Great leaders listen intensely and speak thoughtfully.  Quite the opposite of the typical blowhard boss.

The old-school ways of barking orders from afar, thinking you have every right answer, shooting from the hip, refusing to adapt, and putting yourself first have been rendered totally ineffective in today’s fiercely competitive economy.  However, if you embrace the ways of the ancient Sherpa, you may just end up reaching that rarified air sought by many but enjoyed by few.  It’s time to reach your own summit by shifting your approach.

No ropes or helmet required.

Too often, leaders accept defeat when challenges seem insurmountable.  They concede quickly, bowing to the pressures of the day.  If others in similar situations can’t overcome certain obstacles, it is easy to rationalize that nothing can be done.

While some shrug their shoulders and accept the unacceptable, others are busy getting creative and generating meaningful results.  They develop a new ingredient – a twist – that becomes the difference maker.  When you study the many incredible stories of against-all-odds success, the leaders who breakthrough the barriers don’t relent.  Instead, they look for fresh approaches to tackling the most difficult hurdles.

To see this in action, let’s look at one of the toughest problems of all: education in the city of Detroit.

Like most urban areas, Detroit schools are facing serious challenges.  Lack of funding, community apathy, and school violence are just a few of the issues plaguing teachers and administrators.  The results, a mere 32% high school graduation rate, incite outrage and disbelief.  With such an uphill battle, could creative twists really make an impact?

Twist 1: Beyond Basics, a non-profit organization dedicated to “changing destiny through education,” attacks the problem at its root.  Going into the most troubled schools and working with the highest risk kids, they offer intensive one-on-one literacy coaching combined with positive energy and respect.  The result?  Nearly all students reach grade-level literacy skills within a six-week effort, even those that were years behind.  This program is breaking the cycle and has helped thousands of kids over the last ten years.

Twist 2: The Sphinx Orchestra works with kids in Detroit schools and offers classical music programs for minority students.  Kids learn discipline, creativity, and teamwork under the direction of the inspirational Aaron Dworkin.  Besides delivering some amazing concerts, Dworkin’s program delivers something even more special:  Kids who participate enjoy a 100% high-school graduation rate.  No, that was not a typo.

Twist 3: Detroit’s new Cristo Rey High School.  Their twist comes from the idea that college kids can put themselves through school, so why not high school kids?  The program includes corporate mentors who hire students to work one day per week. The pay that’s earned goes back to the school to help fund better programming and staff.  Kids get real world experience, connect with role models, and develop a strong work ethic.  As a result, 100% of their first graduating class was accepted to college.  Again, not a typo.

If creative twists can deliver such dramatic results in the highly challenged Detroit schools, think what they can do in your own organization.  Stop tacking the problem in the same way everyone else does.  Instead, stick your finger in the eye of conventional wisdom and look for an entirely new approach.  It will liberate your company and allow you to drive unimaginable results.

C’mon y’all.  Let’s do the twist.

In our frenetically busy lives, we all smack up against the same obstacle: time.  The 24-hour clock is a brutal and unforgiving foe.  It’s easy to fill the hours, feeling busy and anxious, only to look back at a stunningly puny amount of productivity.

With unlimited access to information and frictionless global markets for goods, services, and talent, you need to make each minute count in order to remain competitive.  Sounds easier said than done?  Let’s explore a simple, yet effective, approach to making the most of the clock.  I want you to make three lists:

1. MORE – What do you need more of in your life?  Where are your efforts spent that deliver the highest value? More time in strategy meetings?  Crafting the brand?  Coaching a colleague?  Reading to your kids?  Make a list of the top seven things that you want to prioritize and do more of.  These are the areas that will lead to your biggest goals, drive the most progress, and contribute at your highest capacity.

2. LESS – What do you need less of?  Less time updating your Facebook status, gossiping at the water cooler, or watching reality shows?  You may feel busy by triple-checking a report or holding yet another mind-numbing meeting, but these low-return time investments can rob you of the ability to focus on what matters most.  What are seven items that should be reduced to make room for higher value activities?

3. STOP – We all have to-do lists, but how many of us have a stop-doing list?  This list should include the most notorious and unproductive activities that should be eliminated completely.  Each of us knows what to include for our own lists.  For some it may be junk food.  Some may need to cut out negative self-talk.  For others, they need to stop impulsively checking email while driving (author note: guilty as charged).   These habits are tempting to be sure, but they deplete value and lure you away from your calling.  Make sure to include the seven worst offenders you need to guard against, and then exterminate them as if they were fire ants.

Try this for 30 days.  Three lists, seven items for each list.  While the first week may be a bit rough as you break old patterns, you’ll be delighted with the results by the end of week two.  More time. Higher impact. Focused creativity.  Deeper connections.

Since 1944, Smokey the Bear has told us, “Only YOU can prevent forest fires.”  For those looking to reach their full potential, I’d add that only YOU can take control of your most precious and non-replenishing asset: time.  Your three lists will help you get there before your hopes and dreams go up in smoke.

Think how polished you were on the day you interviewed for your job.  Or applied for a small business loan.  Or went on the first date with your spouse.  You took the time to look and act sharp.  You were engaged, thoughtful, and energetic.  You were a great listener.  You were empathetic.  You cared.

Fast forward to now.  For many, the image is a 180-degree shift.   I see people nearly every day that clearly stopped trying long ago.  They approach their work with distain, apathy, or resentment.  They go through the motions, contribute the bare minimum, and listlessly skate on by.

The same holds true in personal relationships.  When dating, she meant everything to you and was your number one priority.  Today, your belt size is much larger while your effort has plummeted.

Isn’t it funny how advances are directly correlated to focused intensity?  When you were in the groove of giving it your all, the things you wanted in your life tended to manifest.  But when you slipped into half-ass mode, so did your results.

Even if your job and relationship feel as secure as Leavenworth, no situation is unbreakable.  The best way to protect against unexpected catastrophe is to treat every meeting, email, lunch, phone call, client interaction, team meeting, or weekly report like an interview.  If you think about it, others are forming opinions of you in every one of these activities.  Why not use these efforts as a platform to build your personal brand and drive your reputation?

Look around your team and you’ll see the difference in an instant.  You probably know both a Mike and a Maggie.  Maggie shows up fully, and delivers above and beyond.  She genuinely cares about the success of others, and contributes to the greater good.  She has a positive attitude, refrains from smack talk, and has a real urgency about driving progress.

Then there’s Mike.  An eye-rolling, victim-playing, apathetic bureaucrat.  He’s out for only himself and everyone knows it.  He shoots down ideas with stunning consistency and can’t wait to punch out at 5:00 sharp.  Mike was hired 11 years ago and feels insulated.  He doesn’t bother giving it his all.  “They’ll never fire me,” he rationalizes.

When it comes time for a promotion, who do you think will snag it?  What would happen if there were layoffs?  Or when a new, exciting opportunity emerges and someone needs to lead it?  Always-interviewing Maggie will embrace her success, while Mike will shake his head with regret.  How predictable.

It’s not easy to have the focus and energy to deliver peak-performance on a regular basis.  But it’s a small price to pay for the disproportionate rewards you’ll savor.  A simple shift in mindset can help blast you to new heights.  Keep the hunger and energy of an interview – in both business and life. This approach will ultimately lead to your next advance.  And, of course, many more after that.

At some point on the journey, every great contributor to the world was met with resistance.  The ones who made the biggest impact in business, politics, invention, education, and even humanitarian and civil rights were attacked as much as they were celebrated.

Innovation is routinely met by fear from those that the advances disrupt.  Bold thought-leaders are attacked by parasitic naysayers who would rather criticize than create.  For every courageous doer, there are two-dozen finger-pointing detractors, eager to toss a wet blanket on progress.

In your own efforts to drive your career forward, to build your organization to the next level, or to help rebuild your community, you will undoubtedly be met with the same venomous negativity.  It’s as if a gravitational force has been established to hold you back from seizing your full potential.

This resistance exists for a single purpose: to test your resolve.  And while it may not feel that way in the moment, you have complete and total control over your response and the eventual outcome.

When you feel the assault of abrasive critics, your instinct may be to cave.  To give a “little” ground.  To settle.  To allow your most potent ideas become watered down.  The problem is, by giving even an inch you embolden the naysayers.  Your effort to diffuse the situation has the opposite effect.  In fact, it only strengthens your adversaries.

If you feed the monster, it will grow and end up eating you.  Instead, you must starve it.  You must fight back with the force of a thousand armies.  You only conquer the detractors by determination, not by compromise.

Like any schoolyard bully, the amoral rivals will eventually back down when they realize their fight is unwinnable.

These insidious forces can appear in many forms.  They may show up as a soul-crushing boss, a ruthless competitor, or an emotionally abusive partner.  You may be dealing with a broken political structure, a frivolous lawsuit, or a neighborhood that’s stuck in the past.  Each of us has our own opponents, but conquering them is achieved with a singular approach: tenacity.

Our nation was built with an unshakable persistence.  It’s time to use that heritage to our advantage in order to overcome the challenges of the day.  Let’s all stand firm. As business leaders and community rebuilders.

Never back down.  Never waiver.  Never empower your critics.  Never cede your values and beliefs.  Never cave to your detractors.

Never embolden the naysayers.

In the context of seemingly endless challenges, many of us have paused to reassess what it really takes to win.  What attributes will we need to overcome the strong headwinds of this hyper-competitive business storm?

We certainly know that the models of the past won’t cut it. To seize our full potential  – in both public and private efforts – we must embrace the five new faces of leadership:

1. Sherpa – The leader of a mountain-climbing expedition’s sole purpose is to help others reach the summit.  Sherpa leadership isn’t about individual achievement – you are in your role to serve others – your team, your customers, and your community.  If your team knows you are there to help them succeed, they’ll give back far more than any rah-rah speech or management technique of the week.

2. Provocateur – Tip-toing around deeply entrenched viewpoints is less productive than trying to fry eggs on a hot sidewalk.  Your job is to challenge everything and be a poking-stick of change.  A healthy disdain for the status quo is the hallmark of leaders who shape history.  Don’t let fear glue you to conventional wisdom.

3. Futurist – Aiming your efforts at last year’s market data will yield a surefire miss.  You must clearly articulate your vision of what lies ahead, and ensure your organization is ready to seize it when that window opens. Imagine all the possibilities, and never allow the past or present to restrict your imagination.

4. Story-teller – Getting your message to stand out and be heard above the noise can by tougher than running a four-minute mile.  Make sure you’re crafting your story – to both internal and external audiences – in such a compelling way that it cannot be ignored.  You must communicate your purpose and a clear plan of how you’ll get there if you expect your team to leap forward with urgency and alignment.

5. Speed Demon – The world of getting things 100% right before hitting the market is long over.  Today, you must execute and problem solve with ferocious speed, making regular adjustments in real-time.  Complete business cycles can now last weeks instead of years.  You must build a culture that embraces speed in all aspects of business – from innovation to customer delivery to hiring to technological advances.  On the highway, speed kills.  In business, speed wins.

New challenges call for new approaches.  To really hit your stride, you’ll need to upgrade your game plan with a modern set of tools.

The surest path to obsolescence is hugging the status quo.  It’s time to relinquish the techniques of the past in favor of approaches better suited to the challenges of the day.  Good leaders may stay the course, but great leaders reinvent.

When bugging my fiancée, Tia, about what she wanted to do next weekend, she jokingly jabbed back with a line that struck me: “I just want to be fabulous,” she beamed.

Although her response was meant to be playful and not taken seriously, her simple words could not have rung more true.  Dictionary definitions for ‘fabulous’ profess a state of marvelous, superb, and incredible.  It also has a fun, whimsical quality.  Quarterly reports can be “solid,” but tart Greek Yogurt with kiwi and sprinkles… now that’s fabulous!

Some additional reflection led me to two universal truths:

1. You Get What You Choose.  We are each in control of our own outcomes.  It’s easy to let the world dictate our path, and there’s never a shortage of people to blame for challenging circumstances.  But the reality is that we each get to choose our own journey.  We can choose to give our days to what matters most, or allow ourselves to be distracted by temptation.  We can choose to set the highest standards – in our companies and families – or we can toss our hands in the air and let fate do as it may.  If you get to choose what you think, how you act, who your friends are, how you spend your free time, what you read, and what you eat… why not choose fabulous?

2. Settling for Less Never Pays.  When you settle for anything less than “wow” customer service, you are systematically robbing the future of your organization by eroding your customer base.  By settling for a poisonous corporate culture, ho-hum advertising, uninspired products, or soul-crushing bureaucracy, you’re also settling for mediocrity.  So many individuals and organizations exert the time and effort to launch companies, hire great people, and bring products to market, only then to fumble just before scoring a victory.  Committing to being the standard by which others are benchmarked has been a winning strategy for over 100 years.  Why not choose fabulous?

Each of us has a profound opportunity to seize our full potential and make the biggest possible impact on the world.  A deep look in the mirror or a stroll through the local art museum will reveal your own ideal outcome.  Maybe you’re destined to be a fabulous teacher, energizing our kids and preparing them for a brighter future.  Maybe you’re meant to be a fabulous dancer, pushing the art form to new heights.

Whether you commit to being a fabulous business leader, parent, or community activist, envisioning the epitome of your craft and then giving everything you have to that result will serve as your roadmap to success.  You make hundreds of choices each day, both big and small.  Why not choose fabulous?

A website is considered user-friendly if it is simple and painless to explore.  Ergonomics engineers study human-machine interactions to ensure that cars and other manufactured products provide an enjoyable experience in addition to their core function.  Consumer Reports ranks dishwashers and flat screen TV’s alike based on their level of user-friendliness.

Twenty years ago, this concept was an afterthought.  Computer geeks used DOS, which required memorizing a series of bizarre tech commands.  Cars makers focused on function and style, giving far less thought to consumer experience.  And there was no such thing as a user-friendly VCR – only that infamous blinking 12:00 clock that we never knew how to set.

The same was true with leadership.  Tough bosses barked orders, issued harsh criticism, and seldom gave thought to their impact on others.

Well the world has radically changed and we can no longer simply rely on the models of the past and expect to win.  Websites that lack impeccably designed usability will fail to attract users, while prickly leaders who beat down their employees will simply fail altogether.

User-friendliness is now a requirement for high-performing leaders.  Competency in this category is the ante to play, and excellence can become a significant competitive advantage.

Instincts may suggest that being warm-and-fuzzy will hurt the bottom line.  In fact, supporting team members with compassion and understanding can drive profits faster than starving consumers can line up for free samples at Costco.  In the brain age, you’ll get the most from people if you energize them with consideration instead of crushing their souls with stinging condemnation.

What hoops do people have to leap through to interact with you?   Each layer of difficulty you craft has an inverse effect on the productivity and creativity of those around you.  The best leaders today are accessible, open-minded and supportive.  That’s the formula for stimulating passion and seizing potential.

When you choose encouragement over abrasiveness, opportunity opens up like a new checkout lane at a crowded grocery story.  You attract talented people, new customers, and media exposure.  Great leaders who govern by inspiration instead of intimidation are the ones who end up with the feast instead of the scraps.

The same holds true in a community’s fight back from the brink.  When city services are delivered with steely bureaucracy, citizens are demoralized.  When elected officials portray the user-friendliness of a furious rattlesnake, the community devolves.  On the other hand, when new leaders in both the public and private sectors rise above the noise, our community unites and progress accelerates.

Never confuse kindness for weakness.  The opposite is true for leaders seeking to extract the most value from their teams.  Give yourself a thorough examination and quickly rectify the jagged edges to improve performance.  You will enjoy the direct correlation between improving your user-friendliness and driving the results you seek.

User-friendly leadership.  No operating manual required.