My friend Les Gold, star of the hit TV series Hardcore Pawn, gave a dynamic speech this week that left the audience mesmerized.   His opening line really struck me: “How bad do you want it?”

As products of a consumer-driven society, we want just about everything.  We want fancy cars, palatial homes, and exotic travel.  We also want perfectly toned bodies, extraordinary athletic abilities, a big circle of friends, dozens of hobbies, and a close-knit family.  Our wants are limitless.

The challenge becomes prioritization and sacrifice.  As the sage childhood advice proclaims, “You can have anything you want but you can’t have everything you want.”  Knowing that human desire surpasses the 24-hour-a-day limit, choosing what’s most important is critical.  Without that focus, your energies become defuse and you end up accomplishing very little.

“How bad do you want it?”  Les gets in the audience’s face with his trademark intensity.  He’s referring to your commitment to reaching your goals and questioning the sacrifices you’re willing to make in order to win.  The most successful people do what other won’t, not what others can’t.  If you want something but refuse to do whatever it takes to get there, it’s merely fanciful dreaming.  Those that truly commit to their goals and will walk through fire to achieve them are the ones that win in good times and bad.

Les works out seven-days-a-week at 5am.  I’m sure there are days he’d rather stay in his warm bed, but he’s willing to sacrifice short-term pleasure for long-term fulfillment.  Dealing with tough customers at his pawnshop empire can be difficult and often dangerous.  But he shows up every day.  Fearless.  Driven.  Committed.

It’s so easy to cast blame when we fall short.  Between the economy, governmental regulation, fierce competition, and “not enough time in the day”, there’s no shortage of excuses.  But when you’re busy moaning, someone else is busy winning.  They’re willing to own personal responsibility for their results.  Willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how distasteful, to achieve.  Are you?

When you combine intense focus with unbendable grit and determination, nearly anything is possible.  As you set out to make your biggest mark, you will undoubtedly need to make some tough sacrifices along the way.  If it were easy, everyone would be a champion.

Are you ready to fight through rain, sleet, and snow?  Are you ready to exert discipline and focus?  Are you ready to be relentless?

How bad do you want it?

A good friend of mine said something to me at dinner this week that really hit me: “Aim Up, Compare Down.”

So many of us drive ourselves crazy by comparing “up.” Rather than enjoying our own circumstances, we lust for the things and traits possessed by others. We crush our own spirit by comparing ourselves to those that are smarter, younger, better looking, more successful, taller, wealthier, better athletes, etc. Unfortunately, this is just a recipe for feeling like shit.

In always comparing up, we lose perspective of where we stand. Instead of appreciating what we are, we obsess about what we’re not. We fail to savor our accomplishments and natural gifts, always grasping for something more in a never-ending futile effort that depletes our confidence and sense of self.

Comparing down, in contrast, helps you realize and enjoy where you are in the moment. It helps you recognize that while there’s always room to grow on your path, you’ve already accomplished the things that only exist in the dreams of others. Sure, there’s always someone with a bigger boat, but never lose sight of those with much less.

I’m sure there are many different ways to interpret the idea of comparing down. To me, it’s not about comparing yourself to other people or being boastful. It’s about comparing “down” to a previous version of you. It’s about recognizing how far you’ve come and realizing that things could always be a lot worse.

Now comparing down isn’t an excuse to stop pushing ahead and striving. That’s where “aiming up” comes in. As far as I can tell, the purpose of life is to realize your full potential and make your biggest possible impact on the world. You won’t get there by aiming (or dreaming) small. Aiming at a target in front of you will propel you to play your best possible game. It will allow you seize the enormous opportunity that’s waiting for you.

So many of us have the formula backwards, don’t we? We aim down because we’re afraid of putting ourselves out there and failing. By playing it “safe”, we end up filled with regret for all the shots we never took. And to top it off, we compare “up.” Envy overwhelms us, starving our own sense of well-being and fulfillment. And with every step forward, we immediately seek something new and shiny to covet instead of appreciating our accomplishments in the moment.

It’s time to turn conventional thinking upside down. It’s time to embrace a fresh perspective that will push you to new heights while embracing the joy you’ve earned at each step along your path.

Forget the traditional approach. Aim Up, Compare Down.

In an era of intense pressure to succeed, we’re often faced with the dilemma to do well OR do good. Our ambitions for money, security, and recognition can drive us to make choices that enrich ourselves while hurting others. The news provides us an endless parade of Bernie Madoffs holding their heads in shame for prioritizing greed above all else.

While you’re probably not a crook, you likely face similar dilemmas on a subtler, yet consistent basis. Should you overbill your client just a tad to boost revenue? Should you make your co-worker look bad to make yourself look good? Should you deliver products or services that are profitable yet overall damaging to society?

Recently, I’ve been bothered by the lyrics of popular rap songs that my kids blast from the car radio. Jay-Z and Kanye West rap about luring young girls into bathroom stalls to “prove why they deserve to have it all.” And the popular rapper Tyga talks with incessant repetitiveness about throwing hundred dollars bills (“hunnits”) on naked strippers.

Now I’m no prude and I’m all for artistic expression. But peddling obnoxious trash to audiences in order to sell more records can’t be making the world a better place. Sure, these “artists” are scoring a bunch of cash. But at what cost?

A simple test you can use when facing a decision is to imagine that your actions will be covered in great detail on the front page of The New York Times the next morning. A big, tell-all feature explaining the choice you made for the whole world to see. Would you be proud of your actions or ashamed by them? Excited to share the story with your friends and family or overwhelmed by humiliation?

You could go one step further and ask yourself if someday your grandkids heard the story, how would you feel? Think Tyga and Kanye would be excited to share their primal lyrics with their 8-year-old granddaughters?

Take a good look in the mirror and examine your career, relationships, parenting style, leadership approach, and level of overall contribution. If that NY Times story was coming out tomorrow, which areas of your life would you wish you could have changed?

Some changes may need to be drastic, while others could be a slight pivot allowing you to contribute value rather than destroy it. Since it’s unlikely the Times will be publishing their story tomorrow, you have the gift of opportunity to make those changes now. So when that story is actually on display, you can beam with pride and know you’ve left a positive mark.

With a little creativity, it’s possible to do well AND do good. Challenge yourself to do the right thing instead of the easy thing, and the rewards will end up being tenfold.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll even enjoy the movie version.

Recently I had the privilege of delivering my third commencement speech. I love graduation ceremonies and what they symbolize: achievement, overcoming adversity, reaching the next level.

Addressing thousands of graduates is a daunting task. With only a few minutes to impart some lasting wisdom, what message would you deliver? I decided to share the 11 principles that have guided me since I wore that graduation robe many moons ago.

In preparing my remarks, I realized that these nuggets didn’t just apply to freshly minted grads; they apply to us all. These are the principles I live by and the philosophies that have enabled my own success. Here’s my advice for graduates, dropouts, young guns, and seniors alike:

1. Put Passion First – People will constantly tell you what you “should” do. Instead of doing what others expect, follow your dreams and your heart. You’ll be much happier, and you’ll make the world a better place too.

2. Build Your Creativity Muscle – This will be your most important skill, and it will allow you to thrive and win. Develop your creativity early and often – it will pay off big-time.

3. Don’t Stumble Over Something Behind You – Regret is the worst human emotion, since you can’t do a thing about the past. You’ll make lots of mistakes, which are nothing more than the portals of discovery. Fail fast, learn, and move on.

4. Leave it Better than You Found it – Every interaction, meeting, project, game, and relationship leaves you with a choice. You can add value or remove it. Do the right thing instead of the easy thing. You’ll be glad you did.

5. Reject Limits – Break free from limits that others try to impose on you. Your ideas, creativity and potential are nearly limitless. Reach for the edges.

6. “Do or Do Not, There is No Try” – This is a quote from Star Wars’ Yoda. Simply put, commit to your dreams and do whatever it takes to reach them.

7. Playing it Safe is Irresponsibly Dangerous - The history books never talk about people that lived small. Those that take risks, shatter complacency, and create their own future are the ones that make the biggest difference. Make your own mark, and never let fear hold you back from your true potential.

8. Embrace Change – The world will continue to change at breathtaking speeds. Those that get locked into one way of thinking get passed by. Standing still is the beginning of the end, so always stay ahead of the curve.

9. Be Appreciative and Humble – Einstein once wrote, “You can live each day as if everything is a miracle, or as if nothing is.” True ‘dat!

10. Be a Lifelong Learner – Continuously sharpen your mind and devour knowledge. Learning constantly will enable success in every area of your life.

11. Have fun! – Life is meant to be savored. Enjoy every sip, sound, and bite.
We all face many challenges, which is why a few guiding principles can serve as a helpful North Star. Play you biggest game and seize the enormous opportunity that’s waiting for you.

No tassel or funny hat required.

In 2005, I found myself in a very desirable position. I had started a company from scratch six years before, and I was delighted to see it achieve some real success. ePrize had become the dominant player in the online promotions industry, organizing sweepstakes and loyalty programs for clients like Coca-Cola, Disney, P&G, adidas and Microsoft.

But then something happened confirming my worst, unspoken fears. A new company entered the promotions business, and our market position was threatened. Every time we tried to land a new client, our rival won the business by underpricing us and offering more sophisticated solutions. They seemed to have come up with a secret way of winning at lower cost yet with higher efficiency and more creativity. They stole our clients, as if by magic. My nightmare had come true.

I knew right away that our new rival, Slither Corporation, was out to kill us. Soon, they were bigger than us, they moved faster, and – though I hated to admit it – they seemed smarter. They never had a down quarter. They appeared unbeatable.

It was inevitable – Slither was going to eat our lunch. Unless we upped our game, and out-Slithered Slither.

But here’s the thing. The Slither Corporation doesn’t actually exist. I made them up. Slither is our fictive nemesis, our imaginary bad guys. To defeat comfort and complacency, I decided that our team needed a wake-up call, so I launched our make-believe competitor at the point we felt unstoppable. The goal: to ensure that we stayed at peak performance, remained humble, and pushed our creative boundaries.

Rather than battling a poorly performing company to make us feel good about ourselves, Slither was launched to fictitiously undercut our prices, steal our customers, compete more efficiently than seemed possible, and, all the while, enjoy margins that made us green with envy.

Slither became a key part of our culture. We intercepted internal memos from Slither that gave us insight into their strategy. Our team members were asked questions such as, “What’s the one thing that your counterpart at Slither does better than you?” Slither even invaded our company one day, dressed in costumes that represented the opposite of our cultural values.

In today’s challenging times, you probably have real competitors to worry about. But inventing your own ideal enemy and then thinking deeply about how to conquer them can be a powerful technique to drive change and innovation. It will help you focus on the possibilities and remove internal political cloudiness.

Unleash your own fictitious archenemy, and use it as a platform for reinvention. It will help you challenge yourself to reach new heights, drive urgency, and unlock new ideas. This imaginary battlefield will better equip you to win at the real thing.

Throughout my career, my favorite saying has always been: “Someday, a company is going to come along and put us out of business. It might as well be us.” Creating your own version of Slither will help you do just that. Disrupt or be disrupted.

When Darth Vader tried to persuade young Skywalker to join the dark side, it wasn’t a very compelling proposition. Who wants to wear black, talk weird, and live like a monster? If the dark side were that unappealing, it would be easy to say no.

But that’s not what modern-day darkness looks like at all. Instead it is shiny, juicy, and tempting. It comes perfectly packaged and marketed directly to our soft spots. That delicious candy bar or cheeseburger that poisons your body and robs your vitality. The expensive handbag that you have to have, but only drives you deeper into debt after momentary pleasure. That relationship that’s all surface and no substance.

In fact, the dark side looks anything but dark. It is appealing in every way and is designed to test you. Anyone can say no to living in a cave. It’s much harder to say no to the illustrious temptations that adeptly lure you in to their evil grips.

It often comes down to small choices. Should you watch trash reality TV or read something inspiring? Should you hit the bar or hit the gym? Should you perpetuate a relationship that provides nothing more than momentary indulgences or seek a partner that helps you reach the next level?

At nearly every turn you’ll face scrumptious temptations. The good news is that you get to make each choice along the way. Momentary pleasure or sustainable fulfillment. The easy thing or the right thing. Darkness or light.

If you think about it, your life becomes simply the product of all the choices you make. How important is it to achieve your full potential? To fulfill your long-term dreams? To make your biggest possible impact?

If you prioritize true fulfillment, you’ll have to make some tough choices along your journey. You’ll need to have the strength to say no to overwhelming temptation in order to say yes to your real calling. Here in 2012, we don’t conquer evil with light sabers. Today your weapon is purpose, passion, and commitment. You’ll win the fight with inner focus rather than outer strength.

The dark side is only getting more alluring. Which means your commitment to excellence is needed more than ever. Don’t be outsmarted by the hollow temptress. Stand firm in your place of power and watch these enticing shams crumble into dust.

As the dark side becomes yummier, it’s time for you to strengthen your resolve.

Master Yoda will be proud.

We all face incredible challenges in our lives. Difficult people. Ruthless competition. Time constraints. But so many of us succumb to an imaginary and impotent demon that strangles our potential and restricts our progress. This fictitious monster is called simply … the past.

While the past can be a great teacher, it can also shackle our imagination and relegate us to thinking small. Imagine carrying around a backpack full of rocks; each piece of stone representing some past injustice or setback. As that weight increases, playing your best and highest game becomes impossible unless you’re able to release the burden and liberate yourself.

Regret is the worst human emotion, since there is absolutely nothing we can do to change history. Dwelling on the past can eviscerate your ambition and is a fast path to unachieved dreams.

It reminds me of an ancient fable:

Two Zen monks were on a journey when they came to a river bed. At the edge of the river was an elderly woman who was unable to cross the river by herself. The older monk put her on his shoulders and across the river they all went. On the other side, the monk put her down and she went on her way and the monks their way. Several miles later the older monk noticed that the younger monk was obviously troubled by something and so he asked him about it. The younger monk stated that according to the tenets of their beliefs, they were not permitted to touch women and yet the elder monk had carried the old woman across the river. The younger monk could not let it go and was angry and upset for several hours. To this, the elder monk replied. “I left the woman at the riverside. Why are you still carrying her with you?”

It’s time to focus on the present and commit to a brighter future. It’s time to stop dwelling in a pit of despair, moaning over squandered time and lost opportunity. It’s time to release the burden of the past and seize today’s opportunity. It’s time to drive change and create your best life.

In the words of the Roman philosopher Seneca, “Don’t stumble over something behind you.”

The last five years have been a nightmare for the US car industry. General Motors, once the largest company in the world, declared bankruptcy. Chrysler also hit Chapter 11, and then was sold to Fiat in an effort to save the company. Major brands such as Pontiac and Saturn have been shunned altogether, and will soon fade into a distant memory.

So how is it that Ford recently reported a $2.1 billion quarterly profit, raised their 2010 outlook, and declared a bright future ahead?

These three companies’ headquarters are within 20 miles of each other in Metro Detroit. They have access to the same talent base, the same suppliers, the same agencies, the same tax incentives. They all faced legacy issues from the past, intense global competition, and identical union challenges. Why is it, then, that one company thrived in the midst of the other two’s economic catastrophe?

One word: Innovation.

While the other two firms were mired in bureaucracy and focused on “running an automotive business”, Ford got back to the idea of making great cars. They reconnected with their customers and used innovation to make cars that people actually wanted to buy. The Ford Fiesta and Focus became cool again for young drivers. New models like the Ford Flex were bold enough to get noticed on the street. And even the Taurus, a car that was once boring and tired, is now billed as “America’s most innovative full-size sedan.”

In addition to design, technology breakthroughs such as the Blind Spot Information System (BLIS), Sync from Microsoft, and EcoBoost are forging new ground and inspiring demanding car buyers to add Ford to their consideration set.

From design to technology to advanced manufacturing to a re-energized corporate culture, Ford has used innovation and creativity to save the day. Despite their myriad of challenges, they won where others failed by embracing fresh thinking and original thought. They realized that you can’t just cost-cut your way to success, or make tiny incremental improvements and hope to prosper. Instead they were bold, and now the results speak for themselves.

Think for a moment about your industry. Is your company focused solely on cutting costs, managing workflows, and driving efficiencies? That’s what Chrysler and GM were busy doing up until the day they filed for Bankruptcy. Or… is your company embracing the most important business need of all – innovation? Even if your challenges seem insurmountable (Ford’s sure did at one point), you must focus on innovation and creativity to drive long-term growth and success. In fact, it’s the only way to win in this new era of business…and life.

This week, look up from your spreadsheet and rally your team to innovate. Break the mold. Create. Reject the status quo. Be Bold. Focus on big ideas. Re-connect with your customer. Let your creativity shine.

Your company was undoubtedly founded on this approach, and now is the time to reconnect with those entrepreneurial, creative roots to tackle the challenges of today. Ford did it, and you can too.

It was widely accepted that a computer could never beat a grand master at a game of chess. Until, of course, when IBM’s Deep Blue computer bested the reigning world champion, Gary Kasparov, in 1996. What was once unimaginable had become reality.

A new game from Matel called Mind Flex allows you to use your brain waves to control a ball without any other device (http://bit.ly/jxkSZ ). I’m sure hundreds of people along the way told the engineers that a person could never move an object with only their mind.

There was a time when many of the things we take for granted today were deemed “impossible”. The telephone, electricity, the motor car, airplanes, computers, cell phones, and iPods were all originally criticized as fanciful dreams. In fact, for nearly every major breakthrough, there were herds of doubtful, finger-pointing critics.

And yet, we now enjoy all these things, along with breakthroughs in healthcare, art, science, business, manufacturing and more, due to “fanciful dreamers” that refused to accept the status quo. The nay-sayers are never the ones that make the history books. Instead, we celebrate those with the intellectual curiosity to imagine a better world and then the courage to make it so.

In the words of German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer, “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as self-evident.” So why do most of us get caught on the first stage and end up throwing in the towel?

Think of all the amazing ideas that were never brought to life due to the harsh criticism and doubt that plagued their inventors. Think about all the ideas that you have had, but never pursued do to your own doubts and fears. What would happen if you unleashed your currently shackled creativity? Even if nine out of ten of your new ideas stink, that one remaining idea could be that gem. It could just be the breakthrough that changes your career, your company, or even your life.

This week, silence the critics (both the external ones and your own internal critical voice). Think about the possibilities instead of the obstacles. Imagine the ideal solutions to your challenges, rather than the safe ones. Leave the words “It can’t be done” for others. While they are worrying about what can’t be done, you can get on with actually doing it.

Detroit, Michigan is in trouble. What was once a vibrant city is now overrun with crime, unemployment, and despair. In its hay-day, it was one of the top five cities in the U.S., and had over two million residents. Today, the landscape is marked by abandoned buildings, burned down houses, and vacant factories. The population is now well under 900,000, leaving a city that is too big for its residents to support.

Revitalizing a city like Detroit that has suffered decades of decay is an enormous effort. One key to improvement for other urban centers has been increasing population density. A more dense population is easier to police, protect, and beautify. It also creates a stronger sense of community, makes it easier to educate kids, helps focus limited city resources, and increases the tax base. But how can this be accomplished with a footprint that spans 138 square miles?

One brilliant idea has been proposed: Urban Farming. The concept is to relocate residents into a much more densely populated area, and then raze the abandoned streets in order to turn the land into urban farming. This unorthodox approach has many benefits:

a) Increases density, which brings the benefits listed above
b) Provides jobs and increases the tax base
c) Residents can now consume locally-produced good, saving transportation costs and keeping revenue in the region
d) Reduces the cost of city services such as police, fire, schools, and sanitation (it is MUCH less expensive to support farms than residential neighborhoods)
e) Beautifies the area
f) Supports future expansion (you can always re-build on the land)

I’d imagine that the average city council brainstorm session in America on how to reduce crime, increase taxes, and reduce blight doesn’t often include the concept of urban farming. Yet it is a fantastic idea. It is a non-traditional approach that breaks the mold, and dares to be different. The power of creativity in real-time.

Think about the various problems that you are trying to solve in your own business. Are you proposing obvious, unimaginative solutions (more police presence, beg for Federal aid) or are you letting your imagination soar (urban farming!)? List out the obvious solutions for your next big challenge, and then see if you can push yourself and your team to come up with your own equivalent of urban farming. Something different. And remarkable. And truly innovative. Something that forges new ground, and utilizes your resources in a fresh, imaginative way.

Detroit is a city with a soul. It has a rich history of entrepreneurship and innovation. Even though the city has taken a beating in recent years, creative ideas like urban farming can help rejuvenate the region, creating jobs, prosperity, and hope. Many companies and people have faced similar challenges over the last few years, and like Detroit, must rally behind creativity and innovation in order to rebound. This week, face your toughest challenges head on… and look to solve them with your own breakthrough ideas. Your own version of urban farming.